One Simple Hack To Help You Improve Relationship With Your Partner

Communication is believed to be the backbone of a strong relationship. But as surprising as it sounds, even non-verbal communication can help strengthen a relationship  in fact more than its verbal counterpart! And we have scientific evidence to prove our point.
Studies have shown that 2 minutes of uninterrupted gazing can greatly enhance intimacy between partners, and even strangers

In two studies, subjects induced to exchange mutual unbroken gaze for 2 min with a stranger of the opposite sex reported increased feelings of passionate love for each other. In Study I, 96 subjects were run in the four combinations of gazing at the other’s hands or eyes, or in a fifth condition in which the subject was asked to count the other’s eye blinks. Subjects who were gazing at their partner’s eyes, and whose partner was gazing back reported significantly higher feelings of affection than subjects in any other condition. They also reported greater liking than all subjects except those in the eye blink counting condition. In Study II, with 72 subjects, those who engaged in mutual gaze increased significantly their feelings of passionate love, dis positional love, and liking for their partner. This effect occurred only for subjects who were identified on a separate task as more likely to rely on cues from their own behavior in defining their attributes
Love is the most beautiful feeling in the world. It’s priceless and makes life exciting. But somewhere as we progress in a relationship, we tend to take things (and others) for granted. We are stuck in the vicious circle of our needs, desires, responsibilities, etc and we forget to communicate love. We forget the very moments that brought us close. The moments which made you realize how worthwhile is life.

It’s important to let your partner know, how much you love, how much you care and how important is this relationship or commitment to you. So go ahead. Go NOW !! Do things that make you both happy. Collect memories. Relive them time and again. Fill your life with Love and Positivism.
Or maybe just take time out and do this simple, fun loving exercise, and rekindle the love & passion in your relationship.

Does Being a Housewife Leave You With Nothing?

Tradition is very strong in India and dictates many aspects of our lives. In India, regardless of religious differences, caste, class or regional location, tradition makes particular demands on the way women live their lives – from the clothes that they can wear to their mobility, the kinds of jobs they take up and so.

However, alongside this traditional part of society, women are also influenced by the advantages of modern life. Education, jobs, friends, and money are increasingly changing the image that women have of themselves. More and more young women have aspirations that do not fit with the feminine roles of ‘wife’ and ‘mother’. Does the impact of modernity bring with it its own brand of “identity crisis” for women?

There is an emptiness and vacuum in the everyday lives of most women who stay at home. A woman, who is now a primary school teacher, told me that she “wasted seven years” sitting at home just after marriage. In another case, a woman admits difficulty to having sexual intercourse even though she loves her husband. She feels the problem lies in a sense of frustration about being only a housewife.

The idea of ‘feminine’ and ‘masculine’ are artificially created by society and trying to fit real human beings into these ideas will probably lead to dissatisfaction and frustration. Women, like men, are creative beings. Often, the ideas of ‘femininity’ stifle women’s creative side – women are more than just mothers and wives.
For many women, a working career is what gives them a sense of being and purpose – an identity that is enriching.

The studies conducted by NIMHANS found that one in every 15 adult Indians, suffer from depressive illness and as much as 40 % of the population is likely to cross the line of clinical depression. A report released by the WHO (2002) states that depression threatens to be the world’s most common illness by the end of the century especially in women. The reason seems to be, increasing stress levels, demands of work, support, leisure activities and stress experienced in life. A study conducted by Madhu Mathur from Meerut University on 400 women of middle income bracket aged between 45-50 years reveals that as these ladies spent more time in household activities rather than leisure activities as compared to working or high income group bracket are more prone to depression. Mathur utilised sample of 85% of women who were graduates and from lower middle and middle class background.
Take for instance the example of Hemalatha. When 33-year-old Hemalatha, wife of a wealthy businessman in Kochi, a port city in the southern Indian state of Kerala, took an overdose of sleeping pills, relatives and friends were puzzled. After all, she had everything a woman could want, they said: a loving husband, two healthy children, a plush waterfront apartment, two housemaids and a chauffeur-driven car.

“But all the time I had the feeling that I was wasting away my life,” says Hemalatha, who holds a first-class Master’s degree in English. “My husband had forced me to quit my teaching job. He wanted me to stay at home and be the ‘ideal’ housewife.
He could never understand why I wanted to keep my job when he was earning so much. The once cheerful and fun-loving woman began to suffer from bouts of depression.

“Now I can’t do without anti-depressants,” she says. Hemalatha is among a growing number of women in Kerala suffering from mental disorders – mainly due to social, economic, cultural and gender-related stresses.
Now whether a woman should work or stay at home, should be a personal choice and forcing upon her, to do either way, is unfair. If the decision of the woman is to stay at home, or circumstances demand that she stays at home, here are a few pointers for what can be done to feel better about being a stay at home wife/mother:

First, always take a shower and get ready for the day. Taking the time to shower and put on makeup makes a mom feel clean, refreshed, and prepared for the day. If an unexpected visitor comes, it takes away the embarrassment of not looking the best.
Stop watching too much TV. There is very little to be gained from watching television. It is a time thief and a brain washer. Look at any study done on television, and they all say the same thing — stop watching it. It seems that our grandparents weren’t too far off when they told us that it was rotting our brains.
Create a schedule for yourself. This is probably the most important piece of advice. They give structure to our days, space to enjoy activities, and time to get work done. Socialise more, join some hobby class, keep yourself fit.
Most importantly, if you’re feeling depressed, don’t try to keep doing the same things. A change in your daily patterns will completely transform your outlook. It’s more of a psychological problem rather than a biological one. So, if we can alter our thought process we can certainly Overcome depression . And after all,

‘Life isn’t about the story to pass. It’s about learning how to dance I the rain.’


What To Do If Your Partner is Avoiding You

“I don’t know what I did wrong!

Everything was going just fine. We are actually a very lovey-dovey couple, and we used to text each other all day about the most random things. But now he has stopped texting me.

Every alternate day we used to meet in the park, but now he has started giving me excuses that he has too much work and can’t meet me. How come he suddenly has so much work to do, but never mentioned anything about a big project or something like that all these days? I am starting to doubt his intentions and fidelity”.

This is a common problem faced by many young couples across the country. It could be either partner in the relationship who is feeling ignored.

Here are a few ways to tackle this issue heads on,

  1. Firstly, think it over again. You could be overreacting just a tad. Maybe your partner has moved on from that phase of constantly keeping in touch to the next phase of letting each other know the important stuff.
  2. If you are sure there’s a problem, talk it out. Do not accuse your partner, but bring it up directly, Perhaps your partner does not even know that you are feeling neglected and for all you know there may suddenly be a lot of work to do.
  3. After you bring up the topic, point out specific instances of when you have been feeling neglected and ignored and ask your partner to explain his/her behavior. When your partner is explaining, listen to him/her with an open mind.
  4. Maybe your partner is struggling with some news that he/she doesn’t know how to share with you. Direct, non-confrontational communication will clear the air and also provide an opportunity to discuss uncomfortable topics.
  5. Finally, give your partner some space. No one likes to be smothered in a relationship. Maybe the only solution you guys need is some time apart to really appreciate your time together.
  6. Most importantly, be patient. It does no good to blow the situation out of proportion and it may not be a reason to end the relationship. Just talk it out calmly, and you and your partner will be able to work something out

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